“If you can give up on needing someone to be loveable before you love them, you will be free.” Abraham Hicks.
Remember – it’s Addiction that is the bully, not your child, They may behave like a bully sometimes – but that is the Addiction working its wily ways. It’s not your child – not deep down in their core. They are human beings who are in pain. We are not superior to them. We almost certainly have our own addictions; it’s just that they’re not life-threatening.
Of course, bullying is unacceptable and we need to draw boundaries for our own wellbeing. However, until our daughter changes her behaviour, we have the option to love her in spite of her behaviour. The payoff for that? Look at the quote at the beginning of this post: the payoff is that you will be free. The spider can’t hold you in her web any longer because you’ve broken one of the strands of that web and slipped out.
Tip – It’s OK to feel angry, betrayed and hurt by the bullying behaviour of your Addict. That’s normal. However, if you choose to do so, you can let go of those feelings after an ‘episode’ as soon as you’re ready to do so. Read and re-read the pearl of wisdom at the beginning of this article and if it resonates with you, write it down in your Notebook so you can refer to it quickly whenever you need to.