What do I mean by this?

If you don’t know what I mean, the chances are that it hasn’t happened – and I sincerely hope it doesn’t happen to you.

But if you ever experience this – you will know exactly what I mean.

It’s as though your son isn’t inhabiting his body any more. When you look into his eyes, there is no spark, no sense at all of the person who is looking back at you. It’s a shock when this happens.

And this is where your instincts and intuition come in. As his parent, if there is cause to be seriously concerned about his safety, all your parental instincts will be screaming at you that something is badly wrong. Do not ignore this feeling.

That dead look in his eyes reveals a level of use that needs to be taken very seriously.

Your son needs to go to re-hab. Now.

I know you’re worried about telling your friends and neighbours what has happened with your son. Your ‘cover’ will be blown, right? Your status as a successful, happy family will be destroyed in one fell swoop if you have a family member in re-hab.

Trust me, that’s neither here nor there – given this situation. Your son is addicted, depressed, and may be suicidal. How do I know? Because this happened to me once.

I can’t stress this strongly enough. Your son needs help and his safety must come first.

So what to do now?

Make sure that someone is with your son 24/7 until help arrives.

Contact a re-hab. If you haven’t yet looked into re-habs, look at

1) Public Health England’s directory of residential re-habs –  http://www.rehab-online.org.uk/

Time is of the essence and you may feel you need help in identifying a re-hab. You can try your GP. You can try a drugs counsellor. You can also cut to the chase as follows:

Contact a sober escort company (see Where to Find Help/Professional Organisations).  They may be able to help you identify a suitable re-hab. And their business is in providing transport and a trained companion to get your son safely into re-hab.

Meanwhile, gather any support that you can from relatives, friends or neighbours. They will help you to convey the message you’re going to give your son.

When the sober escort arrives, explain to your son that:

  • you can tell he is unwell. You know that his drug use has reached a very dangerous level.
  • His addiction needs immediate treatment.
  • The sober escort is here to take him to re-hab

Your son will probably be resistant to your plan for him to go to re-hab. But you can tell him that if he won’t go, then you have no alternative but to call 999 and have him admitted to hospital. Explain that you want to avoid having to do this because he will then be in the hospital system and he won’t like it. It could take time to get him out and his addiction won’t be addressed while he’s in hospital. They’re not geared up to do that.

My thoughts are with you. My heart goes out to you. Whatever happens now, know that you and your son are being looked after. Keep his safety foremost in your mind.

Trust. Pray if you can. Your request for help will be heard.