Do you find yourself crying on the train, the bus or in your car? Let those tears come – at the first opportunity. If you are in a public place, you can disappear into the loo and have a good weep.
Otherwise, let those tears come as soon as you get home. Release the sadness, the pain, the shock. Are you feeling ‘why me?’ Good – shout it, sob it, tell the Universe your heart is breaking.
You may feel anger rising up as you sob. Good – shout out that it’s not fair. Shout out everything that makes you angry.
I want you to EMPTY yourself out.
Releasing pent-up sadness, pain and anger is an emotional spring-cleaning. It leaves us with some space to encourage lighter, happier emotions into our lives.
And if you’re a guy – I’m not taking any excuses about ‘big boys don’t cry’. Our society is just plain wrong in taking away boys’ and men’s right to cry. Trust me, you’ll be doing the best thing you can for yourself and your family. How macho is that? It’s beautifully macho.
Our society frowns not just on men crying (and generally on them expressing emotion), but also on women expressing anger. So, my sisters, let it rip. Beat up a cushion or find somewhere you can explode your anger and shout yourself hoarse. (Watch Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona for a masterclass in a woman expressing anger – great fun).
And when the tears subside or you are hoarse from shouting, hug yourself; make a hot water bottle and hug that. Stroke your cat, pet your dog. Hug your partner or any child of yours that’s available. Make a cup of tea.
Sit down. Now breathe – long, deep breaths, in for four counts and out for four counts. If you have some peaceful music, you might like to put that on as you spend some time just taking care of yourself.
If that’s the first time you’ve done this, that’s enough for now. Well done.
When you next feel like it, come back to this post and practise some emotional release again.
And when you’ve done this a few times, move on to Processing Emotions Part 2.