Planning ahead is your secret ally 🙂
Next time you have a special event, weekend break, or holiday planned, ask (well in advance) a friend or relative to come and stay the night before you leave.
This friend/relative is going to be your deputy. So they will need to know what has been going on in the family with your son or daughter and to not be fazed by it. They need to be a calm and competent person.
This friend will be in your house from the night before you leave and for as long after you leave as it takes for you to get to your destination. They can go home after that (if that’s not too far away).
If your addict is still living with you, then it goes without saying that your friend needs to be emotionally and physically robust and to have some acquaintance with dealing with this sort of situation.
Your friend is there to pick up a major crisis or problem, should that occur. And I emphasise – only a major crisis.
NB – Your friend does not need to deal with any sort of minor problem for your addict. Moreover, your friend must not deal with a minor problem. This is an opportunity for your daughter to experience a consequence of her addiction.
If you get a text or phone call from your daughter as you are leaving the house, or once you’re on your way, tell her that you are away from home and that she has to solve her problem herself. Keep your friend informed of what’s going on – just in case things get more serious at any point.
Your friend is in your home for the first few hours you are away, so that if there is a medical emergency, they can call the ambulance and oversee things until your addict is safely in hospital. Your friend can go home after that, as long as they are available on the phone and not too far away from where you live. They can liaise with the doctors if anything serious happens. (If a social worker or other professional is involved with your daughter’s care, advise them of your plan in plenty of time).
A final word on the subject.
The plan I’ve outlined will take thought and courage. Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go according to plan the first time. There’s a learning curve in all of this.
To build your skills for the anti-hijacking strategy in this post, keep practising the other tips and tricks in this blog to do with Detaching with Love. Remember – it’s like going to the Gym and doing circuit training. If you hate the very thought of the Gym – then think of detaching with love as being a form of training similar to something you have enjoyed training for in the past.